The Joeytown News

Dolls Gather for Dolland Reunion

Froggie and Rollie Still Quarantined

DOLLAND -- After many years, all of Dolland's citizens came out of hibernation and gathered for a reunion. Everyone was present except for Froggie and Rollie, who remained quarantined together inside a moth-infested plastic bag not far away. E.T. had suffered skin damage, apparently due to heat exposure while in hibernation. Everyone else was in good health.

Dolland's baseball and other sports items remained safely in Jack's care during hibernation. Paddington recovered his hat at the reunion. Adrian's pants, however, are still missing.

Citizens at the reunion scrounged for food, refreshments, and any form of entertainment, but found next to nothing. Dolland had become a collection of ghost towns. A single can of fruit punch, manufactured over a decade ago by Mickey Juice Drinks, was found. Mickey himself drank it.

The Fookeys were the first to spring into action, starting a new television network, The MB. Octopus started a new web site,, to document Dolland's past, present, and future. Bear, meanwhile, went back to work at the Joeytown News.

Too Many Dolls Are Taking The Easy Way Out

JOEYTOWN -- Depressed over Dolland's state of disrepair, and what they perceive as a bleak future, many dolls are attempting to commit suicide. Fortunately, perhaps, they are also discovering that they are unable to take their own lives.

Paddington lead the way by leaping from a tall building in Joeytown. He was then chagrined to find himself still very much alive after hitting the ground. Paddington exclaimed, "Ribbersnibbit!" as he walked away from the scene, reported one witness.

Despite Paddington's failure, many copycat suicide attempts have followed. Why are dolls insistent on taking the easy way out? "We're bored! Okay?" answered one Joeytown resident.

The Joeytown News

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